As the year wraps up, it's time to pause and reflect: What’s the story of your year? Is it a narrative of growth, connection, and small (or big) wins? Or are you caught replaying what didn’t go to plan? In this inspiring episode, Gillian shares how the stories we tell ourselves shape our reality, confidence, and outlook for the future.
As the year wraps up, it's time to pause and reflect: What’s the story of your year? Is it a narrative of growth, connection, and small (or big) wins? Or are you caught replaying what didn’t go to plan? In this inspiring episode, Gillian shares how the stories we tell ourselves shape our reality, confidence, and outlook for the future.
You’ll discover how to reframe your year, celebrate what truly matters, and shift your perspective to build positive momentum as you step into 2025.
Whether you’re winding down for the holidays or still tying up loose ends, this episode is your reminder to recognise the moments that defined your year—both big and small—and rewrite a story you’re proud to tell.
Links we talked about on the podcast include:
The RISE Accelerate program - JOIN THE WAITLIST
Free Guide: The Ultimate Guide to Saying No
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Like this episode? Please leave a short review on your podcast platform so we can rise in the rankings and reach more women.
[00:00:00]GIllian: What's the story of your year? Is it one of wins, growth, connection, or do you find yourself dwelling on what didn't go to plan? Well, in today's episode, I'll show you how to reframe your year, celebrate what truly matters and carry that momentum into 2025. Ready to fall in love with your story? Let's go.
[00:00:00] Hello everyone. And welcome back to your brilliant career. Can you believe it? We're almost at the end of the year, December 23, to be precise. If you're listening to the first day of this release, it's kind of that in between time, right? Where you're probably wrapping up loose ends, hopefully not juggling any more deadlines. If you're like me trying to avoid eating your body weight in mince pies, how good are they?
[00:01:57] Good thing I like exercise, huh? But I have to say, and I'm sure you'll relate to me saying this, it's been a big year, hasn't it? I mean, it has been a big year. And I think for so many of us, we arrive here in a bit of a heap. Don't we, we kind of get to that finish line. And I think high achievers especially tend to have very high standards for themselves and you know, while you're busy ticking off all the things that need doing before the holidays, I just want to take this moment to invite you to pause, just to reflect, and here's the question I want you to consider. What is the story of your year? And I'm not talking about the polished version. You might tell it at a dinner party or in a performance review, but the story you're telling yourself, the one you quietly replay when you're driving, I don't know, maybe scrolling through your phone or staring at the ceiling in bed at night.
[00:02:52] What is that story? Is it a story of wins, of the things you achieve, the connections you've built, the moments that made you smile? Are you thinking about the times that surprised you? Like maybe you pulled something off that you thought you couldn't do? The challenges you rose to? Or, is your focus on what didn't go to plan?
[00:03:16] What you could have done better? The goals you missed? The opportunities that didn't materialise? The times you felt stuck or unsure of yourself? Now let me tell you something important. The stories we tell ourselves create our reality. That is a truth. The stories we tell ourselves, actually create our reality.
[00:03:39] Our stories shape how we feel about the past, how we approach the present, how we move forward into the future. Like they affect not just our confidence, but how other people perceive us. And even how we respond to life's inevitable challenges. I love the work of Herminia Ibarra and Kent Lineback who say, we are the stories we tell ourselves.
[00:04:02] Like we are the stories we tell ourselves. And if you believe that, you want to be careful, right? You really do want to be careful. If you've been caught up in a cycle of focusing on what hasn't gone well this year, let’s rewrite that today because it's possible to change your story and in doing so change the way you show up in your career and your life.
[00:04:25] Now, I was inspired to focus on this topic because, you know, you kind of thinking what's, what sort of topic do I, do I cover at this time of year that adds value to people? But it came to me pretty quickly because of the conversations I had very recently with some of the senior leaders I coach. Now I only work with about six people at any one time, they are senior leaders.
[00:04:47] And as you can imagine, there's a strong, close working relationship. Sometimes they last for years. This month, I asked probably about three of them the same question. How would you describe the year, your year, in a sentence? And the responses, well, honestly, they were surprising. I say surprising because having gone through the year with them, I've got a pretty good sense of their successes and disappointments, but their honest descriptions of 2024.
[00:05:21] The story they were telling themselves, it boiled down to this. I could have done so much better. Now these are sophisticated, accomplished senior leaders. So they, they backed up their responses with examples. I didn't handle a senior stakeholder situation as well as I could have. I missed out on a role I thought should have been mine.
[00:05:43] I said yes to something, and now I'm stuck doing work that isn't fulfilling. All the examples were true. But what struck me was what they weren't saying. Like in those moments, they were completely overlooking all the incredible wins that had along the way, the times they'd stretched themselves in the most unique, challenging situations, in some cases.
[00:06:07] The moments they spoke up and nailed it, the way they advocated for themselves or took on expanded responsibilities or really inspired their teams during difficult, disruptive moments in the business. Like so many things. It was a really nice opportunity in our coaching session to pause and reflect.
[00:06:30] And as their coach and someone who cares deeply, not just about their success, but how, how they see themselves, I wanted them to close the year with a more balanced and positive perspective. And I'm not talking about a sugar-coated version of the year, but one that really acknowledges their growth and courage.
[00:06:49] Like I wanted them to, to feel good about their story, to recognise the bravery, the commitment, the progress they've made to say, yeah, I did great this year. It wasn't all easy. Some parts really tested me, but I showed up, I grew, I did work I'm proud of. So with that in mind, I thought of you. Because maybe, just maybe you're at risk of doing the same thing, holding onto the negatives and overlooking the positives.
[00:07:23] And let's not do that. Like, let's reframe it, let's make sure you close the year with a story about 2024 that you actually love. You actually love, you want to share with people, it fills you up with good energy. Now I know this year is almost done, so if you are tuning in in real time, or maybe you're catching up on this episode in January, just take a moment to pause, you know, I imagine you are in relax mode, hopefully, but wherever you are, I want you to know this, you can work through this episode with me as we go. There is no pressure here. There is no right or wrong way. Just listen along, take it in and let yourself reflect. And I think that's something we all need to do.
[00:08:11] But really, I just love the idea of getting you to fall in love with your story of the year. To just kind of let it fill you up with that good energy. So much so that when you think about it, you can't help but feel stronger, lighter, ready for whatever is ahead. Like that's what the power of that feeling, I just want it to carry you into the new year feeling fantastic.
[00:08:36] Okay. So that's my intent for you in this episode. So let's dive in and do the work together. Alrighty. I'm going to guide you through a simple three step process to help you reflect on your year and create a story that feels meaningful and true. Got to be important. It's got to feel true. And it's not about glossing over the tough parts.
[00:08:56] It's about recognising the full. Picture and highlighting what matters most. And here's how it's going to work. Part one is about pressing pause, just kind of stepping back and reflecting on some of the wins, the lessons, the moments that shaped your career, both big and small. Step two is called play it back.
[00:09:14] And I'm going to invite you to speak to some people. I'll, uh, I'll explain that mysterious component as we move through. And the final part is fast forward. We're going to turn these reflections into a narrative, a story. Your story about your year that feels good. It's going to set the tone for what's ahead.
[00:09:37] So it's a pretty simple process, but one that I hope will leave you feeling clearer, more confident and ready to step into that new year. Okay, so that's the game plan. Let's dive in and look at step number one.
All right. So step number one is taking a moment to pause. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know you're probably listening to that and go, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:10:01] I, I know it can feel so counterintuitive, especially at the very end of the year when things, I don't know, there's always so much happening isn't there? But that is exactly why it's so powerful. Like pressing pause gives you the space to notice what really mattered in your year. Like it's going to help you to take stock of the wins you've had, the lessons you've learned, and yes, even the challenges that helped you grow.
[00:10:26] So I want you to think about it like this, zooming out. So instead of being caught in all the details and what happened the last three weeks of work, you get to see the bigger picture, your real story. And you're not doing this alone because I'm here to guide you through it. So, find a quiet moment.
[00:10:46] Maybe you're walking the dog. That's perfectly fine. Maybe you're folding the laundry. Maybe you're just having a cup of tea. Wherever you are, let's just kind of all pause together. We want to identify what stood out to you this year. I really don't mean just the big wins. The big wins are easier to remember, like a promotion, how fabulous, congratulations if that's the case, or finishing a major project or hitting a big milestone. I'm actually talking about the smaller, quieter moments, the moments that reminded you of what you're capable of.
[00:11:20] Maybe they just gave you a little spark of joy. So let me guide you with some questions here. And as I share each one, just take a moment to let it land. You don't have to answer it right away. Just sit with it, let it simmer and see what comes up. Okay. Just enjoy the process. Alrighty. So question one is this, what am I most proud of this year?
[00:11:44] So think about that for a moment. Think back across the months. What are the moments that made you feel a deep sense of accomplishment? And it doesn't have to be something that everyone saw or celebrated. Maybe it was solving a tough problem at work, handling a tricky situation with a colleague, or simply showing up for someone when it really mattered, like what makes you say, I did that and I'm proud of that.
[00:12:14] Like, have a think about that for a moment. What are you most proud of this year? Okay. So that's the, that's the first question. The second one is, what did I surprise myself with, what I could do? Now, sometimes the moments we grow the most are the ones we don't see coming. Like, think about a time this year when you were thrown into something unexpected, a challenge, an opportunity, maybe even a crisis, and you handled it better than you thought you would.
[00:12:45] What did that moment teach you about your capabilities? How did you surprise yourself this year? Like you pulled off something that at the end of it, it's like, cool. I achieved that better than I expected, actually. So that's question two. Question three is what moments made me feel most alive? Now, this is one of my favourite questions because it's about joy and energy.
[00:13:14] So think about the times this year when you felt really connected to what you were doing. When time seemed to just fly because you were so immersed in it. Maybe it was a conversation with someone who inspired you, a project that lit you up, or even just a small, simple moment that made you smile.
[00:13:34] For me, it was, and we haven't launched this officially to the broader public, but you'll hear about it in a few more months. We are launching something called the RISE Club and it has allowed me to be so creative and I have just loved pulling together the agenda, which sneak preview includes events and all sorts of things and it has really filled my cup. It's just been so exciting and, something a little bit different to what we normally do. And I think that was the big appeal for me and that made me feel most alive. So what are the moments that made you feel most alive this year? The next question is two more. The next one is who supported me and who did I support in return?
[00:14:19] Now, none of us get through the year alone. Who were the people who had your back this year? Like maybe it was a mentor or a colleague, maybe even a friend who reminded you of your worth when you needed it most. And on the flip side, who did you show up for? Like reflecting on all these connections is so powerful.
[00:14:39] It reminds us of the community we're part of, even when we don't always see it, but it is that sense of belonging that is so important to all of us. So think about that. Who supported me and who did I support in return? Hopefully a few different names have popped up for you. The final question is what is one thing I'd do differently if I could.
[00:15:04] Now this isn't about beating yourself up over mistakes. It's about learning, but if you could really go back and do one thing differently this year, what would it be? Maybe it's a conversation you wish you handled differently, an opportunity you wish you said yes to, or a boundary, you wish you'd set.
[00:15:22] Like what is the lesson you can take forward into the year ahead? Now these questions are meant to open up your thinking to help you see your year in a more complete way. And you can answer them one at a time. You can come back to them later when you have some more space to reflect. It doesn't really matter.
[00:16:11] Don't let recency bias take over. Look back through your photos, your calendar, even your emails if you need to jog your memory, the moments that matter aren't always the ones right in front of us. Personally. I can't remember what happened two months ago, so I would, you know, for me, I have to look back because it's so easy to forget those important moments. Okay.
So take your time with this step. Press pause, reflect on the questions, start noticing the pieces of your year that might be not have stood out before. And when you're ready, we'll move on to the next step, which is called playing it back.
[00:16:53] Let me talk you through this. This is why I call it playing it back, because this is about seeing your year through someone else's eyes. So think of it like rewinding a tape, how old school is that? And listening to a new perspective, one that might surprise or inspire you. And here's the twist. This isn't about formal feedback or sitting down with a work colleague to tick off a list of questions.
[00:17:20] It's the holidays. Yeah, it's the holidays and you're probably spending more time with people who truly know you. So let's keep this simple. Let's keep it warm. Let's keep it meaningful. I want you to think of someone close to you, a partner. a best friend, a sibling, even someone that you have worked with, but also have a personal connection to.
[00:17:44] The kind of person who knows your quirks, sees your strengths, and can be honest in a way that feels supportive, not critical. When you have a moment with them, hopefully over the next few days, the next week, maybe have a coffee, a walk, or just sit on the couch and ask them these two questions.
[00:18:01] Question number one. If you were to describe my year in a few words. What would you say? Okay, that's number one. If you were to describe my year, just in a few words, what would you say? Okay, so that's question number one. Question two is what's something you think I should feel proud of from this year?
[00:18:26] What is just one thing that you think I should feel proud of from this year? Now the first question opens the door for them to share kind of like their overall perspective. The second helps anchor the conversation in the positive, like that is intentional, ensuring you take away something meaningful and uplifting.
[00:18:47] Let me share how I tested this out before suggesting it to you. So I decided to ask one of my dearest friends these questions. She's the kind of person you can tell anything to without fear of judgment. So perfect candidate. And we often find ourselves reflecting on life while also having a lot of giggles, to be quite honest, while we're going for a walk and spending time together.
[00:19:12] So we were out walking together, and I decided to ask her, if you were to describe my year in a few words, what would you say? Her response? She was very thoughtful about it. Resilient, creative, and loving. And I'll admit, I was a bit taken back by the mix of those words, so naturally I asked her to explain.
[00:19:31] She said resilient because, well, I experienced a loss, someone very close to me 12 months ago, but it's taken me a bit of time to process. And she admired how I navigated that and how I didn't let it shake me completely, even though it really rattled me at first. Creative was tied to my business. She pointed out how I've kept the energy flowing in my business, constantly creating, pushing forward, building new ideas.
[00:19:59] It's because she has to listen to me. All my crazy ideas while we're walking and loving this one. It really hit home actually. She spoke about my focus on family this year. We took my parents, our son, even my girlfriend, to Fiji for a wonderful holiday this year. Then we celebrated my mom's 80th birthday. I hosted a lovely party for her. it's been a year of intentional family connection. And that’s been deeply meaningful to me as you know, my parents are getting older and our son is growing up. Like it feels a little bit of a transitional period. And then I asked her the second question, what's something I should be most proud of?
[00:20:39] And she didn't hesitate. She said, the way you treat your relationships. She was referring mostly to family and close friends, but I knew it went beyond that. Like I do deeply value good relationships and human connection, not on a massive scale. Like I'm not an extrovert, despite what people might think when they see me presenting on stage.
[00:21:02] I actually thrive in contained smaller one on one connections, to be honest. But this year has been a testament to that. I've built and nurtured so many meaningful relationships. Many new, some longstanding, and it is expanded across my business network. Like the incredible podcast guests who come into my life to new friends from exercise, to people I've met along the way, like that's part of my story for the year, you know, a great success in its own right. Like cultivating genuine, meaningful connections and having great people in my space is truly a gift.
[00:21:42] Like, I love that. So the conversation with my friend, it was a bit of a gift actually. It reminded me that while I might naturally focus on what didn't go perfectly, because I too can be that pain and we all do it, but it's the broader picture that matters. The resilience, the creativity, the love. It wasn't just what she saw in me, it's, it's what I want to see in myself too.
[00:22:07] Like that is the truth. in my mind. That's the beauty of this step. Like it's simple, but it's powerful. Like you don't need to ask a dozen questions or overcomplicate it. Just find someone who knows you well, someone who sees the best in you and ask them, if you were to describe my year in a few words, what would you say?
[00:22:29] And if you feel comfortable, follow it up with what's something you think I should be most proud of this year. It's not about fishing for compliments, so don't frame it like that. It's about gaining perspective. And sometimes the people close to us can see things that we're too close to notice. They can help us see the light in moments we might have brushed aside or overlooked completely.
[00:22:54] So here's what I want you to do. Take a moment in the next few days, maybe it's during a quiet catch up with a friend over coffee or while you're out for a walk with someone you trust, ask those two questions and just listen. Don't rush to feel the silence or explain yourself. Just let the words land, then reflect on what they've shared.
[00:23:17] How does it feel? If you see your year through their eyes, what does it add to your story? Now you might just find that their perspective helps you reframe, rewrite your own. And as you pull these pieces together, you're going to have a stronger, more balanced sense of the year that was.
Let's move on to the actual final step of this activity, which is a bit of fun, so brace yourself.
[00:24:16] It's called fast forwarding. Now you've got some insights from others, paired with your own reflections. Hopefully this has given you a bit of a fresh look at what your year was. Okay, maybe it's, you know, you've got one standout moment or a mix of things you're proud of, successes, growth, or even how you've handled the tougher parts.
[00:24:38] If you've already identified those highlights, and maybe you have, then you can go away and follow this next step. If you haven't, you need some more reflecting time, that's fine. Because this next step is something you're going to have to do, not in real time, but afterwards. But I want to take a moment to explain it.
[00:24:55] Here's the twist. Instead of letting these reflections sit quietly in your head, let's turn your story of the year into something alive. A short, engaging narrative you can confidently share when someone asks, how was your year?
[00:25:11] You know, those people who are great at telling their own stories, like they don't sound like they're bragging. They just naturally share things in a way that makes you think, wow, they've had a fantastic year. Well, you can do that too. And the best part, it's easier than you think. To make this fun and simple, let's use Chat GPT.
[00:25:33] Here's how to do it. Okay. So step one is you got to open chat GPT. If you haven't used this, just open it, give this a crack. This is going to be so easy. And then we're going to, uh, we're going to give you some instructions to chat. We're going to say something like this, “write me a short conversational narrative about my gear. My highlights are X, Y, Z, make it sound natural, and something I'd actually say”. And step three is review what it generates. And quite often you have to tweak a few things, give it a bit more guidance to make sure that it feels like you, and then practice saying it out loud. How much fun is that? Come on.
[00:26:12] How much fun is that? You're just going to bullet point some of the key things, and then you're going to say, “Hey chat GPT. I want a conversational narrative here. These are some of my highlights. I want you to capture it in a conversational tone. So it sounds natural, something I'd actually say”. So let me show you how I did this.
[00:26:31] I gave chat the following. I want to summarise my year in a way that feels warm, conversational and real. My highlights include showing resilience after a personal loss, staying creative and building new ideas in my business. and creating meaningful family moments like celebrating my mom's 80th birthday and strengthening my connections with great people in my network.
[00:26:54] Make it sound like something I'd say in a chat with a friend, and I don't want it to be long. And here's what it gave me.
It's been a big year. I've had my moments like bouncing back from a personal loss earlier in the year that took some resilience, but I'm proud of how I kept creating in my business and made time for the people who mattered most celebrating my mom's 80th with family and making new connections in my network. That's the stuff that fills me up.
Now for me, that feels really good. Like this is not about being perfect or polished. It's about highlighting what's important to you in a way that feels natural and positive. So here's my challenge to you. Give it a go. Give it a go. Like take what you've reflected on. Go and have some fun.
[00:27:46] Plug it into chat GPT. What's the worst thing that could happen? Create a narrative that you love. And then the next time someone asks, how was your year? You'll have an answer. That makes you smile and maybe inspires them too. Now, as we close out this episode, I want to leave you with one simple thought.
[00:28:06] Your story matters. The way you reflect on your year, the things you choose to focus on and the narrative you create, it shapes how you feel about yourself. And how you step into what's next. This isn't about perfection or pretending everything was smooth sailing. It's about being intentional, recognising those wins, the growth, and yes, even the challenges in a way that builds you up.
[00:28:32] When you feel good about the year that's passed, you give yourself a stronger foundation to build on. Like you're going to set yourself up to approach the next year with more confidence, clarity, energy. So as we wrap up 2024 and head into a fresh new year. I encourage you to take a moment for this process.
[00:28:53] Pause, reflect, play it back, then craft a story that feels true to you. One that you'll be proud of to carry on with as you embark on the next chapter. Because if you're feeling good about where you've been, imagine that you've been how much more brilliant the year ahead can be. Thank you so much for spending this time with me. I'm cheering you on and can't wait to see what you create in the year to come. Thanks for listening.