In this episode, I explore how to approach mentorship strategically in 2025, offering five key "needle movers" to help you find an exceptional mentor and maximise the relationship.
In this episode, I explore how to approach mentorship strategically in 2025, offering five key "needle movers" to help you find an exceptional mentor and maximise the relationship.
In my view, mentorship should always be pursued with purpose and thoughtfulness, and be integrated into your broader career strategy. By focusing on the right relationships, mentorship can be a powerful tool for professional growth.
And here's a quick tip, don't assume that seniority equates to effective mentorship. While senior leaders bring authority and experience, meaningful mentorship is about finding someone aligned with your goals who offers actionable insights, not just a prestigious title.
Intrigued? Let's dive in!
Links we talked about on the podcast include:
The RISE Accelerate program - JOIN THE WAITLIST
Your Brilliant Career Podcast Ep. 8: Forget a mentor. Find a Sponsor.
Free Guide: The Ultimate Guide to Saying No
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How do you find a good mentor? Like what do you need to do to make the most of the relationship? And what does mentoring look like in 2025? I hear people say all the time, I'd like a mentor this year and obviously a good mentor. So today I'm sharing five fresh ideas for making mentoring work in 2025, because I want you to have a crack at this and I want you to do it elegantly and joyfully. So, lots to share. Let's dive in.
[00:01:43] I'm assuming you have some knowledge and experience with being mentored or about mentoring. So I'm not going to the core basics. Instead, I'm going to share what I think are the five needle movers. So these are the things that can genuinely shift the dial for you when it comes to getting a great mentor, not just a good mentor, but a super mentor, and then leveraging that relationship. Now, I don't give mentoring a lot of airtime compared to other trainers and consultants, but I do believe that mentoring, it can be a very powerful part of your career.
[00:02:20] Who doesn't want someone to give you great advice, share their knowledge and experience and all the wonderful things that mentors do. But I only think they can be a powerful part of your career if you approach it in the right way. Now, if you're a regular listener or a program alumni, you will know that I'm a big advocate for sponsorship, having someone champion you, open those doors in the decision making room. Push your career forward. I'm a champion of this topic because I just don't think it gets enough visibility. Everyone talks about mentoring all the time. So I tend to put the attention there, and if you don't know much about sponsorship. And you want to listen to some of the past episodes. I'll pop the link in the show notes and you can go back and have a bit of a listen.
[00:03:08] But the point I want to make here is you actually need both and I've always said this. Both mentors and sponsors. So mentors are the one who are going to skill you up. They're going to give you that advice, that perspective. They are fantastic at really allowing you to see things more broadly.
[00:03:27] And mentors are very good at sharing their own experiences and knowledge and all that sort of thing. Sponsors on the other hand, they're the ones that will move you up. Okay. So they're the ones who are going to say, well, she would be great for that role or for that opportunity. But we need both. So with this in mind, let's dive in and talk about mentoring. And I want to dive into the very first needle mover, and it's an interesting one. So brace yourself. And it's this, don't assume that all senior people make great mentors. Like the best mentors aren't always the most senior, it's an easy assumption to make.
[00:04:05] And I think we can get quite captivated by title sometimes. That's understandable. I mean, senior leaders, they carry this authority. They all this wonderful experience. They have this broad view of the business. They have influence, they have so many things that make that an attractive offering.
[00:04:26] But here's the thing, when it comes to meaningful mentorship, which is what we're talking about, seniority, it just doesn't always equal success. And let me explain why. So, as most of you know, a large part of my business, the Gillian Fox Group is about delivering in organisation programs. I deliver women's leadership programs, sponsorship programs. They are five, six, seven, eight month, quite comprehensive programs, every year with several corporates.
[00:04:54] In terms of the instructional design of these programs, incorporated there's an assignment and sometimes the assignment is, allowing the female cohort to spend some time with the ELT or a group of very senior leaders, and the idea is that they get to choose two people from this senior leadership cohort and they get to approach them and then they get to spend some time with them.
[00:05:20] It's a mentoring style conversation. Now because it's part of the program, they are guaranteed a yes, so they're guaranteed this meeting. So it's, it's deemed as quite valuable. Now, here's what usually happens. This is the interesting part. There's always one or two women that look at this assignment and then they are really eager, super enthusiastic, engaged in their career, but what they do is they go straight to the CEO. Now I get it, like the idea of sitting down with the most senior person in the organisation sounds exciting. You're probably listening to this and go, yeah, well, maybe I would do that too. But here's the reality.
[00:05:58] CEOs are incredibly busy. They stick to the allocated time. They keep the conversation more formal, and they often don't have the bandwidth to go deeper. It's not that they don't want to help you. This is just one of many demands on their day. Meanwhile, the women who choose other senior leaders from that group, so there's plenty of others that they can choose, they're still very senior, but interestingly, they often walk away with a much more rewarding experience. Because these leaders, they're that little bit more available, they're more willing to spend extra time, and they are genuinely invested in sharing insights and having practical, meaningful conversations.
[00:06:42] This pattern, is it unique to my programs? Like many organisations run mentoring programs, maybe you've been on one yourself, where mentors are assigned based on availability or seniority, and often participants assume that the most senior person will be the best fit. But if that mentor doesn't align with your needs, or doesn't have the time to truly engage, the relationship is going to fall flat.
[00:07:12] It will probably just fizzle out. Don't be seduced by the title because mentoring works best when there's alignment. Like you've got to have a connection in terms of your communication style.
[00:07:25] There's got to be a business fit in terms of your objectives. There needs to be some ease in how you connect. A sense that that relationship will be a win-win. That they are prepared to invest in you. So, compatibility and alignment are always going to be two important considerations. More important, than seniority in my view. So when you're choosing a mentor, focus on what you actually need, whether that's leadership guidance, skills development, help with a career strategy, whatever it might be. But look for someone who matches those needs, the best mentors, they are the ones who make you feel supported, understood, and they share the right insights and advice for where you are right now.
[00:08:48] Let's move on to number two now. Don't say, would you be my mentor? Now I hear women say that all the time. I'm going to ask them to be my mentor, but I'm saying, don’t use that language. Don't go up to someone and say, would you be my mentor, unless you are so confident of a yes. Now, let me explain why, because I know this is very different to probably what you've heard.
[00:09:09] And I don't think anyone really tells you this, but that question, can you mentor me? It is a question that can make some leaders cringe. Why? Because what they hear quite often is, can you solve all my problems? They're sitting there listening to you make this big ask and their internal narrative is, do I really want this? Do I need this? Senior leaders and good leaders are approached for mentorship all the time, and not every experience has been a positive one. Let me give you an example. A senior leader was recently on this podcast, and before we started recording, They admitted something quite revealing, but perhaps not surprising, because I have heard this before, that they intensely, intensely dislike being asked to mentor.
[00:10:03] Now, why such a response, like such a strong response? Well, this person said they've just felt trapped in mentoring relationships in the past. Like the mentee, showed up unprepared, expected all the answers and just didn't put in the effort to contribute. You know, they had this mindset that it was the mentor's work to, to help them in every possible way.
[00:10:32] And they went on to say how frustrating it was to feel like they were doing all the work, and for them, and here's a really interesting point the mentee came away from that experience as lazy, entitled, and unwilling to take ownership of their development. Ouch, right? Like in terms of collateral damage, it went way beyond in not being a fruitful experience.
[00:10:59] So instead of building respect and leveraging this great opportunity with a senior leader, it actually had the opposite effect. It was actually damaging to their reputation because they, they asked, will you be my mentor? And then they didn't deliver. Same with an organisation or industry mentoring program where you can be paired off.
[00:11:20] So leaders are assigned mentees, you know how it works, and I know there's, ample work done to avoid these types of mistakes. There's briefing process and frameworks, but this still happens, and I know this to be true because I hear about it firsthand from senior leaders, but senior leaders have disappointing experiences mentoring people, and they are naturally more cautious.
[00:11:44] It's not that they're anti mentoring or unwilling to help. They just want to be sure the relationship will be worthwhile before they commit. Now that sounds like a smart business call to me. So, what would be a better thing to say? Like instead of just jumping straight to this, will you be my mentor? Which, I think it can sound vague. Like what does that mean? I think it can sound presumptive, and it can also sound a little bit junior. So, here's my suggestion, make a very specific and actionable request.
[00:12:19] Let me give you an example. So let's say you've noticed how a particular leader in the business, how skilled they are at engaging senior leaders and getting buy in. You've seen them in the meetings, you've really admired this capacity that they have to get results through others and engaging with other senior people, and you really are impressed by ability to navigate those relationships. And it's something that you want to improve on. So you could say, I really admire how you build credibility with senior leaders, would you be open to sharing how you approach those relationships? Or something along those lines that is very tailored to a specific and actionable request.
[00:13:05] Maybe you're feeling overwhelmed by juggling all these competing priorities. You look at another leader in the business and you think, gosh, they are handling so much and they're doing it so well.
[00:13:16] So you might ask them, I've been working on balancing competing priorities, and I know you manage a lot in your role. Could we chat about how you tackle that? It feels more thoughtful and it's much easier for them to say yes, and it opens the doors to more meaningful advice and a natural connection.
[00:13:35] And I have to add something here, if you intellectually understand and agree with what I've just proposed there, but you feel a little bit hesitant or fearful about making that ask, like it still feels uncomfortable, making that very specific and actionable request.
[00:13:51] Here is my little extra mindset tip. It’s a quote from Byron Katie, who is famous in the self-development world. And it's absolutely perfect for those moments when you're questioning yourself or you're having a little imposter moment. And here it is. They love me. They just don't know it yet. Now, how fantastic is that? Now imagine you've done all the groundwork, you've identified someone who could offer great advice, and you're gearing up to make the ask. And as you're doing this, you think to yourself, they already love me. They may not know it yet, but they will.
[00:14:33] Can you feel the shift in your energy and confidence? They love me. They just don't know it yet. How good is that? You have to play with that one for sure in that situation or in any imposter related situation. Okay. That was my side bonus there.
[00:14:50] Let's move on to needle mover number three. Finding the right mentor. Now we've spoken about not being seduced by the most senior person, but here I want to pause and think about what you actually want. I think a couple of things happen for people when they go on this pursuit for a mentor. Either they expect this person to fortuitously appear out of thin air. Like sometimes there's this belief that if you work hard and keep your head down, someone will just step in to guide you, you’ll be given this mentor. But that's not how it works, unless you're incredibly lucky or thrown on a program.
[00:15:29] But I deliver all this content on the podcast with the view of what's going to empower you, what's in your control, what are the things that you can influence? So if you are sitting there hoping that, you know, this fabulous mentor is just going to, walk into your orbit shortly, they probably won't. You could be waiting a long time.
[00:16:19] The other thing that I see a lot of people do in terms of their thinking around this, is they look around and they find the person who inspires them the most, the one that they admire deeply and they think, yeah, that's a good business fit for me.
[00:16:32] Now there's nothing wrong with the latter, but personally, I think there's a smarter way to approach finding a mentor, a mentor who fits your career ambitions and needs right now. Cause you will have things that are relevant right now in your career and that can only be identified if you know what you want.
[00:16:55] This comes back to you. This is your responsibility. No one else's. This is a classic case of owning your career and you have to do some pre work. The pre work that I would recommend here is to ask yourself, what do I need most right now? Is it advice on strategic thinking, leadership, managing up, navigating tricky relationships at work?
[00:17:20] Maybe it's developing a specific skill like presenting to senior executives or balancing competing priorities, or perhaps it's about gaining clarity on your long-term career direction. You can see where I'm heading here. Like most things, the clearer you are on your goals, the easier it is to find someone whose expertise fits your needs.
[00:17:42] And here's the key. When you approach them with clarity and purpose, you're not just asking for help. You're showing up with a more senior mindset. You're showing up intentionally with self-awareness and an appetite to grow. Now, once you're clear on what you need, then you can evaluate who would be a good fit.
[00:18:02] You'll gain so much more from someone who's experience, knowledge and willingness to share aligns with your challenges and ambitions. It's almost like thinking of them as as a partner. Like someone you can huddle with to address what's relevant, important to you. So do the pre work. Get clear.
[00:18:23] Don't get sidetracked by what looks sparkly over there. Like do this due diligence work. Start from a place of knowing what your needs are. Where it is you need support. What do I need most right now? And then that will help you identify the person with the right business fit to help you.
[00:18:42] All right. Needle mover number four. Another interesting one. Why stop at one mentor? Why not have three or four? Now that sounds like a lot, doesn't it? You might be exacerbated by the idea of tracking down one mentor for 2025, but let me explain. I have been doing this for years now and it's been such a game changer for me.
[00:19:06] I have a group of mentors. maybe four or five. And it has made such a difference, to me personally and the way I've navigated my career. Now, I've already suggested that you want to align your needs with the right mentor. I've also touched on the idea of expertise and let's be honest, no single person can answer all your career and work questions.
[00:19:33] It's just not possible. Plus, no one person should carry that responsibility. Like it's too much. You'll exhaust them. You'll exhaust the relationship. So let's spread the love. That's benefit one. Why limit yourself to a single perspective when you could have a mix of voices guiding you? I think it's a fabulous and simple idea.
[00:19:56] And the way I like to think about it. It's your behind-the-scenes advisors. So, we are working off the premise, different people offer different skills or support. And, let me use myself as an example here, and I know I'm a business owner, but I think you'll understand by just explaining my own situation here. So yes, business owner with a team, lots of stakeholders. I have the responsibility, of course, of growing the business while staying ahead of the curve and women's career advancement and understanding what the corporates want.
[00:20:32] I have a group of people who mentor me. And they're not even labelled as mentors, most of them, but they absolutely play that role. One is my go-to person for advice on managing my team, navigating structural changes. Like they help me work through things that don't feel quite right and give me that clarity when I need to bounce ideas around.
[00:20:55] Then I have another person who owns a training organisation in the States, their business is a lot bigger and more successful than mine. And they're incredibly generous, have been for many years now in helping me navigate the expertise side of being a trainer and consultant.
[00:21:14] Then I have a peer who is possibly the most well-read human in D& I, women and leadership on the planet. She is absolutely fantastic for sharing ideas and answering the big questions I'm tackling. So, she can be a great go to person too. And I also have someone who's brilliant at copywriting. Like over the years, I've done so much writing. More than I ever thought. It wasn't just writing the book back in 2016. It's regular blogs, more emails than you can point a sticker at, uh, socials, so much writing. And this person has been invaluable in helping me sharpen my skills and deliver great content.
[00:21:57] So you can see, I have this incredible group of advisors behind me. They all mentor me in different ways, offer tips, challenge my perspective, make suggestions. It’s dynamite. And the beauty of this approach is that I spread out my neediness. So, you're not overusing any one relationship.
[00:22:21] You're sort of dipping in and out, which I think is good. I think it's good because it keeps the conversations fresh and energised and enjoyable for everyone. And on top of that, I get all this specialised, tailored advice. I love this formula. It's a very simple tip about how to really make the most of mentoring relationships.
[00:22:46] Alrighty. Let's keep going. Cause believe it or not, we are at needle mover number five, and this is a goodie to think of your mentoring relationship as a win-win two way partnership. They add value. You add value. Now, this mindset negates the idea of I show up, they give me all the answers. A great mentoring relationship is a collaboration where both people, bring something to the table.
[00:23:16] So how do you bring value? Well, there are a few ways to do this. One is to take a genuine interest in them, learn about their work, what they've achieved, what matters to them in business. This isn't about just trying to impress, but it's more about making sure your questions are thoughtful and relevant to that person.
[00:23:40] Because if you do that, it shows you've done your homework, you respect their time, you're serious about the relationship, all the things they want to see in you. So if you're sitting there, you don't want to be asking vague questions. Like, you know, how do you lead your direct reports? Very, open. There's nothing wrong with that question, but it's kind of very generic. Instead, like a more elevated way, if you've done your homework, you could say, and you know their background, you could say something like, you know, I noticed how you led your team through that big organisational change last year.
[00:24:10] What strategies really worked for you. Like that's so much better in my mind, Also, they will give you advice. Following up on their advice is just good etiquette and it's actually quite important. So if you didn't follow through on their advice, that's fine, but acknowledge it, explain why.
[00:24:30] If you did. Share the experience. If it was good, if it was helpful, share that story. Say, thank you. It's about showing them how their guidance made a difference. Don't overlook that. So do the follow through. Other ways to show value, in small but impactful ways, share an article. Maybe you email them an article that ties into their work or something they mentioned in your last chat.
[00:24:56] You could even attach a handwritten note. This reminded me of what she said, thought you'd find it interesting. Or maybe you comment thoughtfully on one of their LinkedIn posts. Or maybe you facilitate an introduction and connect them with someone in your circle who might be helpful.
[00:25:12] All these things add value. Another idea, often overlooked as well, but packs such a punch, is writing a simple handwritten note. A handwritten note of thanks. It can be very effective at adding value, and the reason I say this, it is the kind of thing people go home and share with their partner.
[00:25:32] You know, I received this nice note today from this woman I've been mentoring. Like it really enriches their experience. So, there's so many ways you can add value, but there's a few ideas for you.
[00:25:45] Well, that is a wrap everyone. I hope you found these five needle movers helpful and that they've sparked some ideas for how you can approach mentoring in a way that works for you. If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together, because mentoring is about going further and having the right people beside you who challenge you, guide you, celebrate with you, all of those beautiful things. So, I hope you take that with you today. Thank you for listening and I'll see you again in a few weeks.